


I needed to hear your voice

by Dylissa14



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Dead Alec Lightwood, Heartbreak, Hurt Magnus Bane, M/M, Magnus Bane's Omamori Charm, Oneshot, Sad Magnus, Voicemail
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-23 23:53:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18559678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dylissa14/pseuds/Dylissa14
Summary: Magnus just wanted to hear Alecs voice...





	I needed to hear your voice

_„You reached the voicemail of Alec Lightwood. I am not available right now, but in every important matter please leave a message… uh…you can also leave a message if it’s not that important though…thanks”_

“Hey, dear”, Magnus choked out the words, hearing the familiar voice made his stomach ache, he couldn’t help but let the tears fall down his cheek, wetting his skin and ruining his make-up. “I know you will never be able to hear this message, but all I needed right now was to hear your voice. Even though this is only a damn computer, I just needed to hear it, kind of talk to you…I wished I had the chance to do it in person, but…” he let go a shuttering breath, clutching the Omamori in this hands. The fabric was fade, some of the strands already got loose, because Magnus still carried it with him every day.  
“You once asked me what I risked by being with you, Alexander. I stayed quiet, didn’t said anything, but I already knew back then what I would risk. I knew it the first time we met each other. I risk this. Feeling something so deeply for someone and…then losing them. Living life without them, counting the days I could have had with them if I had met them earlier. I loved so many people before. I told you that, and I still remember the look on your face when I told you how many people I was with before you. Your eyes went so big I was kind of scared they would fall out”, he chuckled, a broken sob escaped, thinking about their first date in the hunters moon, Sniffling quietly and using his one hand to wipe his watery eyes, he tightening the grip on the phone in his hands, scared that the voicemail would end before he had the chance to finish.  
“You were so adorable and so scared”, he smiled to himself, covering his mouth with his hand, still holding the Omamori, trying to stop the harsh sobs to escape.  
“I loved so many people before you and I lost so many of them. I don’t know if you could ever get used to the pain of losing a loved one, maybe I think it’s impossible. Some people say that time is healing the pain, but that’s not true. I lived for centuries, I think I can tell quiet good out of own experience that time doesn’t make anything easier. You just get used to the pain…Losing loved once is always hard and never gets easier…but somehow I always survived it… But… Losing you, Alexander…is too much. You mean the world to me Angel, I have no idea how to survive this. I never felt that way before, I never loved somebody so much as I love you and losing you…”, he stopped, sobs breaking out, he flinched at the sound of his own cries, sounding so helpless and desperate. “You have been the one. I never told you that directly, but I think you did knew I quiet well. Even though you would never admit it in front of others. My love for you has never been stronger and I will forever regret that I wasn’t able to save you. You were my everything and even though I have no idea how to survive this, how to live on without you by my side, I promise you that we will see each other again. I promise, darling. I-„

The voicemail ended in a harsh “peep” tone. Magnus let himself sink down at Alec’ side of the bed. The phone still pushed against his ear, he laid on the pillow, tears soaking the golden fabric of the covers, Alec’s unique scent filling in all his senses. His body was trembling, he was barely able to pull the phone away from his ear and towards his face. With shaking fingers he hid the call button, pressed the phone to his ear again, while burring his face in the soft fabric, inhaling deeply the soft scent of Sandelwood and Alec.  
All he wanted was to hear his voice again.

_“You reached the voicemail of Alec Lightwood. I am not available right now, but in every important matter please leave a message… uh…you can also leave a message if it’s not that important though…thanks”_

….


End file.
